PROJECT RUNWAY 8-16-06

Dumpster Diving for Fashion
As we begin the show some designers share their brief sadness at Bradley’s departure. A minute of silence please. Ok, on to the next challenge. Heidi walks down the runway in what looks like an outfit worn by Appalachian Barbie’s cousin, Dress Barn Barbie. I never thought that I would fully appreciate Kara Saun’s designs for Heidi last season; now I do.

After Michael chooses to keep Nazri to retain his captain save-a-ho one-two, kick-your-booty punch; Katie is sent home. If you can’t remember which model Katie is, she’s the one that has a short girl’s face with a supermodel’s body. A little strange. See ya, Katie.

Heidi goes on to tell the designers that compared to last season, they’ve had it easy. I think back to last season and the only challenge I can think of that was really difficult was the foliage challenge, when Andrae’s model looked like she was wearing a doormat. I surmise that for this episode, the designers will be forced to design using completely unwearable materials.

Tim takes the designers on a field trip out to New Jersey. Laura cracks that New Jersey looks as awful as it ever did.” Guess the view from your Park Avenue apartment is just slightly better, eh, Laura? The designers come to find that they are in a recycling center for recycled materials. Let’s just say what it really is, shall we? Slightly less smelly trash. The designers are gathered around wearing atrocious neon-yellow hazard vests, hard hats, clear goggles with a blue accent. Neon-yellow and blue? That’s not matchy-matchy. Shame on you, Project Runway. Matchy-matchy or not, Tim and Allison still pull off the look. But Jeffrey seems to blend into the background. Maybe the outfit just looked so natural on him.

Tim informs the designers they have 30 minutes to gather the materials they want. As the designers dig through the garbage, I imagine that Angela is looking for granny circle material, Kayne is looking for some bling-bling sparkly paper, Robert is looking for the most boring materials he can find, Laura is looking for faux fur trim material and Vincent is looking for space cadet or bell sleeve material. Next they head over to an art supply store where they have 15 minutes and $25 to get what they need.

Once the designers get back to the workroom, they only have 10 hours to make something out of their trash, I mean their less-smelly recycled stuff. And so it's time for the frenzied montage of design efforts to begin. Angela is going to do patchwork, which she confesses that she “loves, loves, loves.” No kidding. Really? Alison plans to make a colorful, volumous skirt, Michael decides to let his material speak to him and guide him (I’ll guide you, baby). Vincent goes for a similar approach, wanting it to “come" to him. Meanwhile, as it is “coming” to him, Vincent is making faces like he needs some Ex-lax®, pronto. In confessional, Laura calls Vincent “completely wack” and “not mentallly stable.” Finally someone goes on record about psycho Vinny. No, not Angela's rant that he is difficult to work with. I want to hear that he is P-S-Y-C-H-O. I thought it was going to forever be the big elephant in the room that no one sees. Laura, you bad girl. You rock it. Some of the designers dig on Laura’s dress. Robert says it looks like a strait jacket and Kayne whole-heartedly agrees. Jeff says Laura is making the same, high-waisted skirt that she always does. I guess Laura could argue that she’s just sticking to the recycling theme.

For you, Vincent

Alison tries to sew her skirt together, but it is not working. Um, hello!! Girlfriend . . . it ain’t gonna work unless you use glue, paste or tape (insert Kayne eye roll). Alison decides to make an outfit out of crepe paper instead.

Kayne's outfit includes a stiff, long-skirt with a green flower drawn on by a 5-year old, I mean Kayne. Tim immediately tells Kayne to trash it. Not recycle it, trash it. Kayne begins on a new design and starts to doubt whether or not he will be safe. He thinks that the only way he could win was if the judges were smoking crack. Well, I hate to break it to you Kayne, but your dress wouldn’t win even IF the judges were smoking. Vincent’s would win. But that's not a dig at you.

Speaking of crack, Tim stops at Vincent’s station and begins to laughs. He LAUGHS. Maybe it's because the paper granny circles Vincent STOLE from Angela's bag of tricks aren't working. Nor is the white paper confetti that looks like cat litter on the bottom of the dress. Still, I guess that Vincent doesn’t get the hint. Vincent tells Tim that his dress “gets him off.” I guess it “came” to him and now it gets him “off.” And right about now I am soooo uncomfortable with Vincent’s choice of sexy language. He’s trying so hard to be cool, but it just comes off as creepy beyond anything I’ve ever known. Next Vincent says his dress is “like a child’s drawing.” For once I must agree. Well said Vincent. Well said.

Jeffrey must be inspired by the neon-yellow/blue palette he was dressed in at the recycling plant because he uses those colors on his design; a dress that impresses me. I can't deny Jeffrey's got mad skillz when it comes to working with garbage.

You can tell that the competition is really starting to heat up. The comments are getting seriously catty, the gloves are off. As the models are fitted and styled, Laura openly asks Kayne about his model’s makeup. Laura tells Kayne that she sometimes questions his taste and Kayne responds that he sometimes wonders about her character, which is worse. Apparently Kayne does not enjoy criticism and Laura’s getting too big for her riding britches. After the exchange Kayne looks miffed and Laura looks pleased with herself. Laura, you bad girl. Rock it.

It’s time for the show. After all the models walk, Angela, Uli and Robert are safe. The six remaining include: Jeffery, Michael, Kayne, Alison, Laura and Vincent. Michael wins. I am so disappointed that Jeffrey does not win. I feel like rallying for him. Then I remember the feminazi comment. I calm down. Last two are Alison and Vincent. Alison is out! Oh, angel girl! The sunshine and rainbows are gone! Vincent is safe. I hear him cackling in his head. In the back Laura explodes on Vincent, calling out his model’s inability to walk in his design. Vincent replies with a request for her to stick two Harry Winstons up her nose. I'm sure the Winston company appreciated your free shout-out this evening, Vincent. What a plug; yes, pun intended.