Top U.S. Biotch of a man Chef strikes again

Sam Talbot of Top Chef and Paris Hilton schmoozing.

Phoney Betty is gone. Bye-bye, Betty. I can't remember any other chef that has done so consistently terrible in the quickfire challenges.

Ilan better be careful. he's starting to pick up some bad habits from Sam.

Top Chef Recap Nov 12

Damn Bravo Top Chef. The Ogre Mumbler won the elimination challenge this week. Betcha he didn't share his prize, those knives, even after his hesitant-performing role as team leader.

My final top three would be Ilan, Elia and Cliff. Screw Sam. Cliff may have thrown Mia under the bus this week, but at least he had the juevos to do it in front of her face, unlike Sammy boy who acts cool in front of everyone then talks shiot behind their backs. Just like a biotch.

Besides, Mia was just mediocre, a mere slice above Marisa, the pastry chef who couldn't even do one single dessert that kicked ass instead of sucked it.

Betty: "I always serve with a smile!"

Top U.S. biotch of a man, I mean Chef

• Note biotch headband, bluffing as a zen prettyboy
• Note pretentious, long, sliver sideburns, another failed attempt at edgy prettyboyism
• Note greasy hair tipping you off that he's still a rat
• Note beady eyes, the better to watch you with, as he throws you under a bus
• Note caveman, ogre-like smugness
  

Yes, I despise this top chef for several reasons:

In Week 2, he was quick to mention that he was voted one of New York's "hottest" chefs. Don't believe the hype chefy. You're only decent-looking from far, far away. And upclose? F'ugly. Beady eyes, greasy hair, and all.

He announced that his strategy was to flirt with all of the "moms" during the ice cream challenge, cause even if his ice cream tastes like crap, he still thinks he's got it like that.

The lil' biotch will throw you under the bus faster than you can blink. Especially when he's in the bottom 3, his targets tends to fall on women like Betty (he verbalized a 2-3 minute complaint to the judges in the "11th hour" about extra use of olive oil refusing to name any names [then why complain, numnuts?] which initiated the complaint about Betty's use of extra spoonfuls of sugar), and he also mentioned to the judges Elia's use of "frozen waffles" after her win. Funny. Waffles frozen or not, had nothing to do with why his suckass was in the bottom 3.

I was hoping Sam was going to be sent home last week, but to no avail. I can only marinate and stew until he is sent packing, which probably won't be until the finale. Bravo has a new episode of Top Chef tomorrow at 10.