The Bachelor - Overnight Dates

Screencaps courtsey of Dreamer. Find more screencaps from Dreamer here.

After last week's Hometown Dates, I was sad to see Agnese go home. We are down to the final three. "Timeliner" Lisa; "Sadie, Sadie, Vigin Lady" and Jen whom I have deemed "The Joker" for her freakishly, ever-present grin. Obviously, Lisa's ability to stay was the result of the producers forcing P.Lo to keep her around for the drama. The producers know a Final 2 or 3 made up of only "good girls" would be unbelievably boring and I wholeheartedly agree.

The first overnight date is with Jen, The Joker, in Sweeden. They head to an amusement park so that she can "open up to" P.Lo. No fair! Foul! Amusement parks are famous for making girls believe that the rush and exhiliration they are feeling from the rides are actually for the guy. I can atest to this, as many of my girlfriends can, as well. It's a well-crafted manipulation by the producers to boost her enthusiasm for him. To get her blood flowing. And it seems to work. P.Lo asks her if she would move to New York and without hesitation, she says yes. I recall in a previous episode her crying about how much she loves her students. And now suddenly, she would leave them, just like that? Come on. Fake. After the amusement park they go on the back of a boat and fish. Jen either catches a baby shark, or perhaps, it was just Lisa, spying on them. Who knows? Lisa's so out there, she might infact have supernatural powers. P.Lo and The Joker throw the shark back in the water. They head back to the hotel for dinner and P.Lo pulls out the fantasy suite card. Uh-oh, P.Lo really likes this girl. Seriously. He went out of his way not to offend her by stating it was "Chris' idea" that he ask her to stay over, not his own. To me, this little act already spells out the winner. I have no spoiler knowledge. This is just my guess. After they see the funky, old suite, They get down to the hot tub business. And that's all we get.

Abruptly moving on, Date #2 is in Budapest with Timeliner Lisa. They meet and Lisa-girl jumps up and down. Belly goes jiggle, jiggle. Gross. Girl needs to re-think better support. Maybe girddle-wear? P.Lo questions her on her intentions and doesn't let up. Okay, maybe you're alright, P.Lo. But I must give Lisa-girl snaps. She called Travis a tool. I agree. She said most of the previous Bachelors sucked. I agree. She said she signed up for fun AND to maybe find love. He asks her things about her past and knew things he shouldn't have known, probably fed to him by the producers so that they could capture her humilitation for some good tv. He asks her about how quickly she signed up for the show after her last relationship. She admits it was a short period of time. She admits to past cheating. But P.Lo doesn't like nor appreciate her honesty. He'd rather that she be as fake as the others. He'd rather her motives for the show and his own (to boost sales) remain hidden. Princes don't like ugly truths. This doesn't bode well for Timeliner.

After spending the night in the overnight suite with Lisa-girl, we are onto Date #3 with Sadie, Sadie, Virgin Lady, in Sicily. As they conversate, Sadie's wide-eye innocence is irritating me like hell. She gushes about how great P.Lo is and how he's shown her things she's never seen before and gotten her to do things she's never done before (heh). Who is this girl? Who is Sadie? What are her interests?What does she bring, as an individual to the relationship? It appears to me that she is just looking for a man to take over the role of her father. P.Lo's already had a dog. Who would want a woman who doesn't have her own thoughts and ideas? Who looks to him for every new experience? Who doesn't have her own interesting path? If he goes the Travis Tool-route and picks someone without much sense of self to offer to the relationship, I will be very disappointed. After Vigin Lady agonizes over the the overnight card, she stays the night. If I were her, I'd be more worried about her lack of a waist and elephant thighs. Homegirl's from San Diego, so she should know her body and white bikinis should never, ever mix, under any circumstances.

Onto the rose cermony. No surprises, he picks Sadie and Jen, leaving Lisa to rethink her "timeline" for marriage and kids.

Up next week is The "Women Tell All." The following week will be the finale and the girls will meet P.Lo's family. Who will win? Will it be The Joker or will it be the Virgin Lady? Really, who cares…but I'll still watch.