Rock-Throwing Recap this Month

A lot of bad girls in the news these days.

Tie Her to the Stake
Apparently, you're not allowed to let your children visit with Grandma for a week so you can go out and blow off some steam. I don't have kids, but I guess this behavior is unacceptable. Who knew?? Single dads can go barhoping and clubbing, single moms... can't. I guess this is reason enough to continue to put the responsbility of birth control solely on the female segment of the population. Some things will never change...

Party on, Britney. You deserve to have a little fun.

Dangnabit. Where are My Stones?
So Miss USA Tara Conner was granted a reprieve for her bad girl behavior. Tara allegedly committed illegal acts; including the consumption of alcohol while not of legal age, and use of illegal drugs. Tara broke the law but was forgiven. Wrongfully humiliated, but forgiven. Professional athletes will always be forgiven too... just without the complete humiliation part. Unless of course, they are with the WNBA or Women's Soccer League, then yes, humiliation will be included in the forgiveness package.

Miss Nevada, Katie Rees, wasn't so lucky. Several photos of her exposed breast at a private party popped up on the internet because an escort service began to use the photos as advertisements without permission. Katie was immediately stripped of her crown. So what law did she break?? Oh I'm sorry... she broke the moral laws of this glass house-living country. Ye shall commit illegal acts to thine heart's desire but ye shall not expose a breast, lest you are struck down by lighting. They decided not to give her back the crown. There should now be a lawsuit on their hands. And rightfully so.

It's all a big joke. The people of the USA do not vote for Miss USA. It's a privately-owned company and for people to take personal offense to any of these girls' behaviors as a bad representation of them just isn't logical. It's just like Hawaiian Tropics, which has a pageant/contest every year the winner is called Miss Hawaiian Tropics. Do people who use Hawaiian Tropics products get offended if Miss HT kisses too many boys? The names "Miss USA" and "Miss Universe" should be changed to like Miss Trump and Miss Trump Universe. As it stands now, it could be considered a serious misrepresentation. I'm sure there are aliens out there very pissed off they don't have a contestant in the Miss Universe Pageant. Why don't they let people call in and vote for the winner, like American Idol. Even that show is fixed, but people still like believing that they have a hand in the decision.

In the meantime, let the girls do their thing. Or bolt them to the kitchen floor barefoot, next to the stove.

More Glass House Scandal Source: CNN.com

Vanessa L. Williams -- Miss America 1983 -- Crowned as the first African-American woman to hold the title Miss America, Vanessa L. Williams resigned on July 23, 1984, after it was revealed that she had posed nude for private photos that appeared without her permission in Penthouse magazine.

Leona Gage -- Miss USA 1957 -- Leona Gage, representing the state of Maryland, won the title of Miss USA. Shortly after, she was stripped of her crown when it was revealed that she was married and the mother of two children.

Marjorie Wallace -- Miss World 1973 -- Marjorie Wallace was the first woman from the United States to win the title of Miss World, but she was stripped of her crown after criticism for dating too many men.

You Break my Glass House, I'm Gonna Break Yours
Speaking of Donald Trump, his boring ass' all up in the news. His ongoing war of words with Rosie O'Donnell is just pathethic. Do either of these morons think we really care? Like we have nothing more important to care about. If there are any two people more out of touch with reality than these two, I can't imagine. All of this Trump news hitting us like vomit is very suspicious. It wouldn't have anything to do with his Apprentice show broadcasting soon, does it? Didn't last year's show have the lowest ratings it's ever had? Hmmmm….

Top Chef Recap Nov 12

Damn Bravo Top Chef. The Ogre Mumbler won the elimination challenge this week. Betcha he didn't share his prize, those knives, even after his hesitant-performing role as team leader.

My final top three would be Ilan, Elia and Cliff. Screw Sam. Cliff may have thrown Mia under the bus this week, but at least he had the juevos to do it in front of her face, unlike Sammy boy who acts cool in front of everyone then talks shiot behind their backs. Just like a biotch.

Besides, Mia was just mediocre, a mere slice above Marisa, the pastry chef who couldn't even do one single dessert that kicked ass instead of sucked it.

Betty: "I always serve with a smile!"

Top U.S. biotch of a man, I mean Chef

• Note biotch headband, bluffing as a zen prettyboy
• Note pretentious, long, sliver sideburns, another failed attempt at edgy prettyboyism
• Note greasy hair tipping you off that he's still a rat
• Note beady eyes, the better to watch you with, as he throws you under a bus
• Note caveman, ogre-like smugness
  

Yes, I despise this top chef for several reasons:

In Week 2, he was quick to mention that he was voted one of New York's "hottest" chefs. Don't believe the hype chefy. You're only decent-looking from far, far away. And upclose? F'ugly. Beady eyes, greasy hair, and all.

He announced that his strategy was to flirt with all of the "moms" during the ice cream challenge, cause even if his ice cream tastes like crap, he still thinks he's got it like that.

The lil' biotch will throw you under the bus faster than you can blink. Especially when he's in the bottom 3, his targets tends to fall on women like Betty (he verbalized a 2-3 minute complaint to the judges in the "11th hour" about extra use of olive oil refusing to name any names [then why complain, numnuts?] which initiated the complaint about Betty's use of extra spoonfuls of sugar), and he also mentioned to the judges Elia's use of "frozen waffles" after her win. Funny. Waffles frozen or not, had nothing to do with why his suckass was in the bottom 3.

I was hoping Sam was going to be sent home last week, but to no avail. I can only marinate and stew until he is sent packing, which probably won't be until the finale. Bravo has a new episode of Top Chef tomorrow at 10.

More Holiday Shopping Deals

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Contract Law IS Sexy!!

Contract Law boring? I beg to differ. Who knew contract language could be so sexy?? And so dirty?? I get a private kick when my professor discusses the following terms:

1 - firm offer
2 - bilateral acceptance
3 - performance
4 - perfect tender
5 - release
6 - accord and satisfaction

Hee hee. But there are some terms that make me shudder…

1 - impossibility of performance
2 - misrepresentation
3 - mutual mistake

And a couple of terms for the bad good girls and the good bad girls…

- multiple assignees and moral consideration