A 'Prince' of a Bachelor

It's baaaack. The king of all reality shows for endless snarking fun, "The Bachelor" returns to ABC on Monday nights. The premiere is scheduled to air October 2. This time, the "Prince Charming" really is a Prince: Prince Lorenzo Borghese, a minor royal from Italy who has lived in the U.S. since he was 5. He has his own business, a company that sales high-end grooming products for pets. Ahh.. what a Prince won't do to boost sales for his online business. How romantic. I swoon breathlessly.

Check out ABC's website for bios of the contestants. Let the ultimate snarkfest begin.

The All-Mighty Power of Photoshop

Behold, the un-adulterated, un-deniable power of Photoshop.


Looking slim everywhere but her pregnant belly, Britney Spears helped Q Magazine celebrate its 20th anniversary with photos and an interview in which she blames Madonna for her decision to marry K-Fed.

For more pics from the photoshoot...

Bosses Day Oct. 16

National Boss Day is Monday October 16th. And guess how I know? ...My boss told me. So I'm sharing this in advance with you, because I don't want to suffer the apprehension of it alone. In honor of this upcoming "holiday," I present to you the bad girls who are even badder bosses. Match the following statements below with the correct boss.

1. You're an insignificant flea. Nay. You have no feelings nor thoughts. You are a non-biological, inanimate object.

2. Your sole purpose in life is to dedicate every waking moment to mine (because I decide when you sleep). In fact stoop down, I need to reach for something beyond my grasp. You don't mind if I step up on your shoulder? What?? Silence, flea!!

3. Oh, I will teach you a lesson… whether I backstab the life out of you, or utilize stinging words, looks or fists, you will receive punishment. And it will be good for you. You will thank me later.

Answer: You already know it was a trick question. It's all of them!

Project Runway S3Ep11

Fantastic Four - True Identities
First and foremost, I am re-posting this picture of Laura from one of my previous posts, in response to Laura’s claim that she wants more snarking. I snark out of love.



One thing that I sorely missed this episode was the banter between platonic Project Runway soulmates ("sewmates") Laura and Michael. They both seem to be keeping their distance. Did they fallout? Or have they completely switched over to competition mode? I am hoping that there was just too much going on this week to show them hanging out. Maybe their connection was all in my head.




We start this week with Jeffrey, Laura, Michael and Uli. Heidi walks out with the velvet bag and I now realize how Uli got Nazri for her Fashion Week show. Laura, who won last week, choses to stay with Camilla, then Heidi randomly draws Uli’s name next out of the bag. Uli picks Nazri over her long-time model Lindsay. Lindsay has helped Uli get this far along in the competition. And guess what Lindsay’s reward is for that? She gets dropped the show right before Bryant Park Fashion Week. Oh Uli, don’t say you’re sorry. Because honestly, you’re really not. My hope had been that the model trade had occurred because Uli wins the challenge this episode, and AFTER wining, she selects Nazri as her model. I had hoped that she had earned the right to take Nazri by winning. But no, it simply came down to random luck, not skill. So Uli steals Nazri for a second time. It just doesn't seem fair that this late in the competition, a major decision is determined by luck instead of skill.

Anyhow, the designers go on to meet NINAGARCIA at Elle. Nina informs them that the challenge is to make an outfit that represents their point-of-view as a designer. At Elle, Nina is sporting a gray wifebeater with tons of sparkle in gold on the neckline which screams "Kayne! Kayne! Kayne!" I'd love to ask Nina, if it truly is a question of taste, or is it a question of whose name is on the label?



At Elle, and later as they begin to sketch, we see the stress and worry on Michael’s face. He’s having a hard time concentrating on the task at hand. And even though he states later in the show that he didn’t mind the model switch (because he is a good guy), you can tell it is affecting his task at hand.



Uli’s dress. Basically, she rips off Heidi’s bell scarf dress from last week. She added a long, skinny keyhole and made a thicker neckline, but other than that, it's the same dress. Oh, and it's a lot shorter and more sheer. Other than to the beach or to bed, could anyone really get away with wearing this anywhere else? To me, this is no less a #1-900-girl-dress than Michael's. Interestingly, viewers voted on Bravo’s serial commercial break poll that Uli should be auf’ed next. She won (err, lost) with 43% of the vote.

Laura's dress. Can Laura design a dress that she doesn't already own? Evenso, it’s well-made with a great fit. Laura still has an addiction with low-plunging necklines. Actually, can we call them necklines? More like clavicle lines. I think she needs an intervention. Send her to the Neckline Disorder Rehab Facility.

Jeffrey’s dress. I actually love the concept of the dress. It is not very well-made but I like where he was trying to go, maybe it’s because Snow White is one of my favorite Disney movies. If he meant "Disney romantic" when he used romantic to describe his dress, he hit the nail on the head.













Michael's dress. {Sigh}. I love him, but enough with the bad purple dresses. Couture week with the leia buns dress and now this. I was also disappointed with Clarissa’s big 80s hair. She wore it down, covering a lot of the intertwined top work, which was suposed to be one of the selling points of the dress, I assume. The dress was not very well-made, particularly for Clarissa's proportions. I wonder if Michael was still working with Nazri’s measurements. The dress kind of sagged on Clarissa, especially in the torso. The dress looks much better in the photo when she is stretching her torso.

The judges deliberate. They are underwhelmed by most the designers’ work. I'm feeling Déjà vu. This happens EVERY season on Project Runway. It’s the repeated curse of the Final Four show. Surprisingly to me, they love Uli’s dress, which is the least formal and least-expensive looking dress of the bunch. Uli is the winner. THAT is what they want to see more of from her? OK. Next Laura is told she is in. The tension builds for Michael and Jeffrey and I wonder if they are both in, due to Bravo’s often-running commercial that they are not set that there will be a final 3. Luckily for the guys, they’re both in. And it’s a happy ending for this season's final four.

Stay tuned next week for the reunion show. I hope Jeffrey gets called out for all his dark-cloud, smack talking about everyone.

Halloween Costumes from Playboy

Mile High Captain Costume
"Prepare for takeoff! Microfiber dress with attached neck sash. 4-piece set includes matching pilot hat and removable Mile High Captain badge. S/M/L/1X/2X, 3X/4X."

Harem Girl Costume
"His wish is your command. Bra and flowing pant with gold coin detail on both. 4-piece set includes veil and gold elastic headband. S/M/L."

Devilish Hottie Costume
"When you're feeling a little devilish, dress up in this tempting red pull-on jumpsuit with back tie closures. Includes rhinestone horns and belt with tail. XS (2-4), S (6-8), M (10-12), L (14-16). "

Bad Girl Alert - Carmen Electra

Don't worry about Carmen. She's doing just fine.

Just goes to show that being totally gorgeous, sexy and rich can't protect you from betrayal and disloyalty.

But a little grace will always get you through the day.

Keep shinning, Ms. Electra. We are with you, girlfriend.

Carmen's Revenge

Heidi's Jewelry on QVC

Well, I guess everything she touches turns to gold... If you missed the jewelry Heidi Klum hawked on QVC on September 14, you may be one of the few. Apparently the majority of the stock sold out in only 36 minutes. Overall, more than 11,000 pieces were sold during the show.

Interested to see more of the styles? Visit http://www.qvc.com and search under "Heidi Klum."

Most of the styles are only available by signing up on the respective waitlists.


Source

Project Runway S3Ep10

Color Drain

This week on Project Runway, we’re down to the Final 5: Laura, Uli, Michael, Kayne and Jeffrey. Two girls, 3 guys. Heidi informs the designers that their new challenge will be announced at a party that evening. The designers also learn that there will be special guests at the party who will also be involved in the next challenge. The designers head wearily to the Pink Elephant.

Just as the designers plan to party hardy, Heidi drops several bombs on them.

Bomb #1
Vincent is a special guest for this episode. The V-Man turns up like a bad penny. Kayne’s eyeroll says it all.

Bomb #2
Angela is also a special guest for this episode. Jeffrey appears to be very unhappy about her return, since she’s his special, secret ubercrush. Come on… his hate is extremely passionate. Too passionate. Isn't it a thin line between love and hate?

Bomb #3
Vincent and Angela are back in the competition, but they must win this challenge to move on to the next challenge. As such, a total of three designers will be out for the cocktail outfit challenge.

Bomb #4
The challenge: use $100 and 1 day to create a cocktail party outfit using only black and white fabrics.

Bomb #5
Both black AND white fabrics must be used in the outfit. The designers must use ALL of the fabric they purchase; every. single. scrap.

Onto the Dresses:
First let me start by noting that I don’t think half of the designers heard the challenge. The outfit is for a cocktail party. Maybe my understanding of a cocktail party is too old-school traditional.

Angela - Unique and inventive, and if she had more time, it could have been really well-made and very dramatic. Too bad she was overly-ambitious with the time she had.

Uli - Pirate hooker in an unflattering cut and a lumpy silhouette. Could also pass for pj’s.

Michael - Great. Gorgeous. Flattering fit. He’s back on-point.

Laura - A black and white doily dress that resembles a tablecloth on my grandmother’s formal dining room table. I like it. Nina says Laura has finally designed something for a woman besides herself. Wrong, Nina-girl... Laura’s black doily dress is one of her favorite outfits. Have you not seen it one of the several times she wore it on the runway?

Kayne - Very sleek and flattering, with a great fit, per usual. The back has a cutout with an interlacing of white, topped off with a bow. The back reminds me of a trampoline/spiderweb/Native American dreamcatcher. I want to paint the center of it or mark it with an "X".

Vincent - I think he confused this challenge with the 1st challenge; working with materials from the apartment. His dress looks like two bedsheets wrapped around his model. For a designer claiming to be innovative and one that likes to take chances, this is just so plain.

Jeffrey - Maybe if he hadn’t spent precious time trash-talking Angela, his dress would not look like it came from the Goodwill “please, please take it” rack. Did he understand the challenge? It’s for a cocktail party, not another 80s look gone bad.

The winner of the challenge is Laura. I appreciate Laura's effort in the detailed construction of her dress. That means Angela and Vincent are going home. Unlike some viewers, I really enjoyed the twist of bringing back Vincent and Angela.

Out is Kayne. Boo!! The color in this episode drains a little more.

I thought Uli and Jeffrey were more deserving to go home than Kayne. Kayne was knocked for not using enough white in his dress. But Uli didn’t work with two different fabrics of black and white herself, she just chose a print that had both black and white in it. Since she had the black and white in one material, all she had to do was figure out how to drape her printed fabric. How inventive is that? Darn you, Nina. Darn you to heck.

Kayne’s taste is also discredited, unfairly, once again, and still the judges are accepting of Jeffrey’s disaster. How can Jeffrey’s design taste be considered more appropriate than Kayne’s, particularly for this challenge? I don't know. Still, my hopes for the final 3 include Laura, Michael and Jeffrey.

Casting Call: The Bad Girls Club, Reality TV

From the production company that brought us MTV's Real World series, The Simple Life and One Ocean View among others, comes an open casting call for all "bad girls" to submit audition tapes for their new reality series "THE BAD GIRLS CLUB."

From the website:
"BaD GiRL,
It may mean something different to everyone, but if you think of yourself as a "bad girl," then you could be on a new reality show from the producers of The Real World. The Oxygen Network and Bunim/Murray Productions are currently casting for a new reality series which will bring together six bad girls from across the country. The girls will live in a house in Los Angeles and work with each other to tackle aspects of their personalities that, while making them fabulous, often tend to hold them back from success in relationships and careers. And while the girls efforts may not always be successful, they're going to have a whole lot of fun trying."

Please visit the Bunim/Murray http://www.bunim-murray.com website for more information and an address to send your audition tapes.

Dumbass Alert - Paris Hilton

So what's new. Oh, the same 'ol, same 'ol. Looks like the princess of blah-blah was finally arrested for drinking and driving. I suspect the police could have picked her up for the same offense any night of the week for the past 8 years if they had wanted. I wonder what her mugshots look like.

This girl gets away with everything and nothing.

Source

Bad Girl Alert - Heidi Klum

Look out ladies, she's expanding her empire. Vogue announced that Heidi Klum is launching a jewelry line, which will be hawked through QVC. The clover-themed collection was inspired by the marble inlay of the Duomo in Milan and will be produced in sterling silver and 14-carat gold for pieces that will range in price from $50.00 to $250.00. "I love the idea of carrying a good luck charm or wearing a special piece of jewelery that inspires you," says Heidi. "For me, this jewelery is so much more than an accessory collection; it is a recognition of the blessings I've had and of all the hopes that I have for the future. I hope it takes on a special meaning for anyone who wears it."

A release date for the collection has not yet been announced. Stay tuned.

Source

Project Runway S3Ep9

Quickie Mart Couture
New challenge: Create a couture gown in 2 days.

Blog thoughts on the opening scenes: Tim Gunn offers to take the designers to dinner after they have settled into their hotel. Is there a Red Lobster in Paris?

Onto the dresses
Jeffrey Sebelia's inspiration: He says the Statue of Liberty. In plaid? I don't get it. I still don’t really see the influence. Maybe a pregnant statute of liberty who grabbed clown pants from drying on a line outside.

But at least it's something different, no? Ringling Bros. wants 'em back when you are done, though.

No crazy prints or crazy colors for Uli. Just the Miss Universe pageant dress,
Part Deux.

Laura vamps up a dress with some trim on the collar. Vincent comments that Laura made a Creature of the Black Lagoon dress. Poor Laura… she looks more jet-lagged than the others. I’m just waiting for someone to get fresh with her cause she’s not going to argue, "your mother…, you’re an ass… sad eyes…," she’ll simply walk up to you and smack you upside your head. Elegantly and glamorously of course.


And can someone on the crew please take this lady to a maternity store so she can buy a couple of tops and bottoms? Pretty soon, we are going to get a free covershot.

Michael is using a simple base for his dress and is adding detail by hand-stiching (or hand-ruching) the top into a curvy, scalloped design (which he has never done before). I see the dress. I start to worry. The neckline reminds me of a princess in a galaxy far, far away. Like Leia buns. The buns also remind me of a teletubby. And before you jump on me for this, forget it. Michael is Muyyy Maahn!

Uli says the fabrics Vincent is using for his dress remind her of a sofa. Supposedly, Vincent has been trained in the art of couture dress-making, yet he uses glue on his dress. I think I know which brand he uses on a regular basis.

The bottom half of Kayne's dress has 'ombre shades of golden brown and caramel. Ga-ga-ga-gorgeous! The top is gold mesh and bone. Sparkle sparkle. The dress reminds me of a Snickers bar. And yes,Snickers bars naturally do sparkle (at least to me, because I'm not allowing myself the pleasure of consuming them).

On the boat, Vincent’s shirt looks like he played in the glue. He butters Catherine up before asking if she thinks it’s a modern dress. Her answer: uhhh… it’s interesting. Catherine avoids getting thrown off a boat. She must have a keen psycho-dar.

Catherine scores all of the dresses. With the help of humongous sunglasses, Catherine gives good poker face. Next time I want to break up with a boyfriend or BFF, I'm wearing those.

The designers head back to NY where their dresses are refitted on their PR models. Catherine's scores, along with the PR judges in NY, will determine who is in and who is out. This episode really had me sweating for Michael and Laura; I am relieved they are both safe. Jeffrey wins again. Vincent is out.

SPA WEEK is HERE!!

One of my favorite events. . . the bi-annual Spa Week (sponsored by Allure magazine) is just around the corner! For one week, the top spas in the country are offering various full service spa treatments normally costing $100 to $200 for only $50! The Spa Week website: www.spaweek.org has a list of all the participating spas and which treatments will be offered for this special event! All you have to do to take advantage of this special promotion is to call one of the participating spas, mention the promotion, and book the appointment. That's it! Please remember that these appointments book quickly! So act fast. Here's the schedule for Spa Week and the list of cities/states with spas participating.

SEPTEMBER 18-24
Arizona, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco and Seattle

OCTOBER 16-22
Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, Philadelphia and Washington D.C.

ANTM Cycle 7 - Faces

So, if you haven't seen this yet, here is the group of girls for America's Next Top Model, Cycle 7.

There will be a 2-hour premiere on the CW on Wednesday, September 20th at 8pm. Set your Tivo. Word is there are twins in this group. Wonder how the sibling rivalry will go down?

The official site has preview video and more: http://www.cwtv.com/cw-antm.html

It's amazing that this is Cycle 7 and the only cycle that has been released for sale is Cycle 1.

Come on Tyra and CW! Give 'em up!

Bad Girl Alert - Disney TLM

Alright . . . it's been about 15 years since Disney released The Little Mermaid on VHS. They are finally releasing The Little Mermaid DVD - Special Edition. Amazon has it for pre-order at a sale price of $18.27. Release date is October 3rd. I normally wouldn't post this info for a cartoon, but Ariel is quite the bad girl; she defies her father and takes off to explore a new world, dates a dude totally unacceptable to her family and battles the evil and jealous Ursula who just wants to keep the girl down. What an ideal way to introduce your children to a smart and independent bad girl.

It also comes in handy when you have a guy over that you have absolutely no interest in, but he still assumes that *something* is going to happen. This movie is an ideal deterent.

Project Runway S3Ep8

High Flying Fashion
Are you ready for amateur photoshopping that looks cheap and insane? How about an attempt at wit that is sooo lame? And a site that is aesthetically-not pleasing? Great. You're at the right place.

This week on Project Runway, the designers are allowed to pick new models. Suprisingly, all of the designers choose to stay with their models from the previous 2 challenges. That means Danielle (Robert's) and Alexandra (Alison's) are out. Heidi announces that the new challenge will be to design an outfit for a hip jetsetter. Tim later informs them that they will be designing for themselves, as they will be the hip jetsetters.

We witness Vincent working in boxers, sans pants, as he stresses the importance of being comfortable. More evidence mounts suggesting that his wife is a "lights-off" kinda woman. Just kidding. I have no idea about that. We also witness Michael in boxers and Kayne's chest several times. Peep show galore.



Jeffrey and Angela continue to bicker in the workroom. And as this continues, I've got a new theory on the Jeffrey/Angela dynamic. Ladies, remember in kindergarten when you would just be minding your business on the playground and a boy would walk up to you and pull your hair? Or try to trip you as you walked by? Later you find out that the boy who is making your playground life unbearable is "in like" with you, but he hates that he is "in like" with you. Maybe Jeffrey has a schoolyard crush on Angela. And before you scream "not possible!" Just remember the boy who hid your glue. Or the girl your 5-year-old hand threw a rock at. It is possible. Besides, wouldn't that be so much sweeter than if he just straight up doesn't like her?



Onto the runway

Throughout the show, several designers comment that Kayne's design aesthetic is tacky.

I say it's flashy . . .

Kayne looks nervous as he strolls down the runway. Be confident young Elvis. I am expecting to see no less than one hip swivel at the end of the runway.

Before he began the design for his outfit, Vincent expressed concern that he's never done menswear, so he's going to go for casual and comfortable. Vincent walks down the runway in a loose-fitting v-neck shirt and even looser pants. Dark colors, no patterns. Simple and comfortable. He looks like he is ready for his nap, he just needs his ba-ba and his bu-bee. The judges tell him it's safe, and it needs a twist.

He informs the judges that he is the twist.


Can I get a water with a twist of Vincent?

Michael mixes an early-80s Michael Jackson top and Kool Moe Dee Wild Wild West pants (with lassoed-up fringe, minus the synthetic). White Lines. All, good stuff. I am telling you, the 80s are back. Look out for overbidding on eBay for retro Members Only jackets, and big, big hair. Accept it. Live it. Love it.


More 80s – Jeffrey rocks Warrant with a mix of Cinderella and a splash of purple luciousness that is 80s Prince. My favorite entertainer/musician/vocalist/all-around-genius, BTW. Okay, I fear I have lost most of you, if I haven't already, so to reiterate and then quickly moving on . . .

= +
Laura's dress looks sleek and expensive. I liked her hair down. Overall it's a very soft look for the mother-of-5 (workin' on 6).



Uli designs a patchwork-style hippie gypsy dress. Very young and flirty. Maybe too young and flirty to be taken seriously. It looks like a poor junior high girl's home ec project.

After they get critiqued, Heidi tells them they have 1-hour to pack to leave for an undisclosed destination. The designers arrive at the airport, still unaware where they are headed, and find out they are flying first class to Paris. Everyone seem happy to say the least.

They head to Parsons Paris and meet designer Catherine Malandrino who will further critique them and combine her scores with the PR judges. Jeffrey wins. Good job. Now maybe there will be less whining and more smiling.



After being told she is from another world, Angela is out and must leave Parsons Paris immediately. Catherine, meanwhile impresses me with her astronomy expertise. When she said another world, she obviously meant the Rosette Nebula. It actually exists, I kid you not. And if you don't believe me, look it up. Angela takes the news gracefully and leaves on good terms.

For more on Angela and her new exciting challenge, check out my Q&A with her in my previously posted blog.


The Rosette Nebula (with more rosettes)

So who will be out next? See ya next week.